I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
