Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize