can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
