haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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