Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize