Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
