Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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