just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
