So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
