glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize