I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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