You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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