He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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