i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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