i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
