after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize