so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
