I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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