I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
