so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Randomize
