Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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