dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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