You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
