Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize
