What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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