I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
