so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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