How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
