Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
false alarm. still invincible.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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