i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
