So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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