In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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