I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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