That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
