addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize