Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
