ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
