is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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