he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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