I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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