Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
