well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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