I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
