I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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