shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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