i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
