The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
this boner is exhausting
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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