did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize