So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize