after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
did you just send me my own nude
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
