You smell like stripper and shame
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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