Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
