Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
