my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
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