Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
