You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
