Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
