I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
