we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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