Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off

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(859): View more from Kentucky

he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.

Fav 44 1181 8488
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(913): View more from Kansas

Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat

Fav 29 7162 1691
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(216): View more from Ohio

I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.

Fav 11 1146 3668
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious

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(705): View more from Ontario

I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.

Fav 10 1467 860
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.

Fav 8 701 1194
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(330): View more from Ohio

I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are

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