1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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