so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
