is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize