Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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