Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
