Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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