her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
