Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this boner is exhausting
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just blew my weed a kiss
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
