If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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