There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
