dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
