No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
tell me about the fingering
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize