The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The Olympian is in my bed
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
