I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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